


Independence Day

by imagined_melody



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Gen, Graduation, Neil's POV, Post-Canon, tfcfansgive, zine contribution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 14:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagined_melody/pseuds/imagined_melody
Summary: Neil Josten graduates from Palmetto State University on May 12—five years to the day after he arrived.In which a life transition falls on an important date, and Neil deals with the prospect of his life changing again.





	Independence Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fic I came up with for the TFC Fans Give compilation, which is now able to be posted publicly! I vacillated between whether to write this as a headcanon or a fic, and I think it ended up somewhere in the middle. Also diving into full-on Neil's POV for the first time!
> 
> Comments, kudos, reblogs on tumblr, and so on are much appreciated, but the best way to show your appreciation for this fic is to go buy the zine it was written for! Go to [this post](http://tfcfansgive.tumblr.com/post/162875056404/its-finally-here-after-months-of-contributions) for information on how you can donate to purchase the compilation. It's got a lot of awesome stuff in it! Go give it some love!

Neil Josten graduates from Palmetto State University on May 12—five years to the day after he arrived.

The day dawns and he’s not even thinking about the parallels, too full of nerves about the ceremony and the day itself to contemplate symbolism. Neil still doesn’t much like being singled out, but he was the only Fox recruit his freshman year, which means he’s the only graduating senior now. This puts him in the awkward position of being the _absolute center of attention_ in the days leading up to graduation. 

The whole sequence of events is a dizzying whirlwind. Neil has already defended his senior thesis and finished all his final papers and projects, and that’s familiar to him; schoolwork is a known quantity. Give him a paper or a complicated theorem and he can work out its complexities. It’s the rest that’s intimidating.

“I don’t want to do any of this,” Neil admits, curled up with Andrew’s body heat cozy and tempting against his side. “The senior galas and the speeches. All of it.”

Andrew flicks his ear. “Is anyone making you go?”

Neil shrugs. “What if I regret it one day if I don’t?” he asks.

“You won’t,” Andrew responds. His voice is a low murmur that Neil can’t get enough of these days, its quiet comfort slowly stabilizing everything that feels out of place. “Stop trying to predict the future.” 

These days nothing much makes Neil feel like running, but the pressures of finishing college are coming pretty damn close. He never really got to know the rest of his graduating class, so all of the people at the senior events are essentially strangers to him. The fuss surrounding graduation puzzles him; if it’s not a championship—or his own life— on the line, he doesn’t know how to calculate the magnitude of it. He’s starting to think he’ll never see these things the way other people do. Right now, he’s even less sure whether that’s a bad thing or not.

What makes it better is the fact that all of his Foxes are there, sitting in a row in the audience, on graduation day. The upperclassmen are all there, with noisemakers (that Wymack categorically _forbids_ them to use at any point during the ceremony) and a handmade sign that says “GO NEIL” in huge, colorful letters. Kevin is there, quiet and serious as always, though Neil detects something in his gaze that he hesitates to interpret as pride, lest he turn out to be mistaken. Even Aaron has turned up, though he looks like he’s been dragged there against his will. The dual presences of Nicky and Kaitlyn at his side are all the explanation Neil needs for his participation in this gesture of camaraderie.

And, of course, Andrew. He sits silent and observant in his chair on the end of the row, and he looks so untouchable that Neil is drawn to him like a shipwrecked man is drawn to still waters. He doesn’t clap or cheer, but Neil’s eyes are fixed unwaveringly on him as he waits in line to receive his diploma, and when his name is called he sees Andrew’s head incline in a slight nod, as if giving him permission to process across the stage. Neil shakes hands with a dean he’s only met in the context of Exy and several other administrators he’s never seen at all, and then it’s over—his future is handed to him on a piece of paper, and all his tethers to this place, the one that made him anything other than a nameless runaway, break loose and set him free.

He and Kevin sit on the curb later on, next to the pile of furniture and unwanted items discarded from the post-commencement dorm room clean-out, waiting for Andrew to bring the car around. It’s then that the symmetry, the exactness of his first day to his last, dawns on him. “I came here five years ago today.”

Kevin pours him a shot of the vodka he has stashed inconspicuously in his pocket—they’ve been drinking it on the sly since they came back to Fox Tower after the ceremony—and knocks their red Solo cups together, the corner of his mouth turning up in a wry half-smile. “Happy Independence Day,” he says before taking a swig.

Neil looks at him, and knows that Kevin has his own date that he keeps tucked away in his mind, the date that he claimed his own freedom. _December 14th,_ Neil recalls.

(Sometimes independence isn’t waving flags and joyful parades in the streets. Sometimes it’s finally stepping away from the thing that’s been killing you all along.)

“You told me when you first came here that you wouldn’t last the year,” Kevin says after a long moment of silence. “Guess you’re more stubborn than even _you_ thought.” Neil looks over and sees Kevin sizing him up, with that piercing expression that Neil has long associated with Kevin’s harsh criticism. But the words that come out of his mouth instead are, “Would have been disappointed if you weren’t.”

The look in his eyes _was_ pride, Neil realizes, and something rushes through him that makes his throat feel tight. It’s an echo of the thrill he felt when Kevin switched the racket to his left hand right in front of the Ravens’ eyes, but reflected back at _him._ Somehow he still feels he hasn’t earned it, even though he’s been clawing and fighting for this for five years now. To have finally received it knocks him sideways. Kevin must notice, because he rolls his eyes slightly when he glances over at Neil’s face, and they don’t say anything more until Andrew’s sleek car rolls to a stop in front of them.

Later that night, back at the house in Columbia, Neil looks at Andrew’s face half-shadowed by lamplight and just thinks _yes, yes, yes._ He thinks of a floor in a hotel room in Baltimore, and Andrew’s hands touching his face, and _March 10_ —the date Andrew got him back once and for all. He thinks about freedom. Sometimes, he thinks, the only way to be free is to tie yourself down to something new.

Then Andrew glances at him, eyes fierce and intense in the dim light, and Neil stops thinking at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Other than May 12, which is actual book canon, I fudged dates for the rest of the characters. If there is a canon-established date for those events, feel free to let me know. Not too late for modifications!
> 
> [Here's that link again](http://tfcfansgive.tumblr.com/post/162875056404/its-finally-here-after-months-of-contributions) to purchase the zine if you're interested!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [here](http://imaginedmelody.tumblr.com). I'm currently in the middle of a TFC reread and also 9 followers away from 300, so it's a good time to stop by. :P


End file.
